I am not a Jock Jerk!
by Eriko Akikuro
Summary: Cloud is an emo smart kid that is infatuated with Squall Leonhart. Who just happens to be the star Quaterback of the schools football team. CxL among others
1. The one where he faints

XX ok i do not own KH or FF

And anyway here you go Chp 1

* * *

"God I can't believe the whole school has to come out and watch the stupid pep assemblys. I mean come on I have no pep! I want to go back to the computer lab! I was

working on a very important..." Cloud zones out and continues to nod quietly under the hood of his black jacket. Sephiroth could go on for hours. Yea, he was his best friend

but Cloud really didnt care about whatever 'amazing project' he had going. He always got first place adn if he didnt he would mope about with a vengence and blame the football players in some way.

'huh here come the foot ball players.' Cloud let his eyes follow the Quarter back out onto the field.

"I dont understand why you like that guy so much he's just a freakin jock! I mean if your gonna be gay pick a decent guy that can at least think. All Leonhart is, is a mass of brainless muscle!" Sephiroth turns towards him, "CLOUD! STOP ZONEING OUT ON ME AND LISTEN! GOD CANT YOU PAY ATTENTION FOR TWO SECONDS?!" Sephiroth pushes him into the girl sitting on the otherside.

"Jesus!" She yells in an unnessisarily high pitched voice, "watch where you going! Gawsh!"

"Sorry." Cloud mutters, as he retreats back into the solace of his hood. Cloud remains in his sedimentary state as obnoxious prep music starts, but when the crowd starts screaming he cant resist the urge to look up. He quickly wished he hadn't. Leon was standing on the football field...in shorts. Just...his practice shorts.

Cloud dies.

Ok not really but he might as well have. Drool was falling from his mouth as he stared and he barely noticed Yuffie wavy Leons plain white T-shirt back and forth like a flag.

No one knows how she got it. Leon doesnt like to talk about it.

Suddenly a small white plastic bag blows across the feild and right between the football players.

And after it...YUFFIE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

The entire student body and all of the teachers are dieing with laughter again. It was a hilarious site. Super Yuffie was wearing Leon's shirt as a cape and running after the plastic bag at a ultra oober fast speed that has been dubbed simply 'The Speed of Yuffie'. You know like...The Speed of Light? Except ...faster. And after her was running Squall Leonhart, the school stoic.

(skip an hour or so later at the end of the assembly)

Cloud is smileing slightly as they leave the bleachers behind all the other students so as to avoid any human contact. He feels a hand on his arm and when he looks to see who it is Sephiroth jerks him aside just under the bleachers. Cloud is frightened by the look his friend is giving him. Sephiroth slams his fist into Cloud's face propelling the small teen backwards into the structure.

"HOW DARE YOU? YOU HAVE SO MUCH OFFERED TO YOU AND YOU THROW IT RIGHT BACK IN MY FACE? WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU SEE IN HIM ANYWAY? HE'S NOT LIKE YOU, HIS KIND ARE THE ONES THAT SNEER AT US EVERY SINGLE DAY OF OUR LIVES AND YOU STILL WANT TO BE WITH HIM? YOU DISGUST ME!" He takes a step forward seizeing Cloud's arm to jerk him up again.

A tall toned figure sprinted between them."HEY! LAY OFF!" The guy leaned right up into Sephiroths face and let out in low, down right scary voice, "Leave. Sephiroth just stands there as the teen turned and knelt down next to Cloud. "You ok?" Leon said with something that sounded like concern in his voice. This was it the shock of it all was too much. Cloud blacked out. The last thing he heard was 'Hey Squally-Wally dont you want your shirt back?' And an evil grunt of frustration in return.

* * *

XX Ok i know it kinda sucks but...It is just the prologe. Review and you get ...LEON!!!!!!1

XXCloud and Leon simotaneously WHAT?!

XX AuthorBye waves enthusiastically before darting away from the outraged men


	2. The one with a lot of hotness

Cloud awoke to the warmth of a bed and the soft touch of a woman. Glanceing around he began to take in his surroundings. He was in an unfamiliar and rather sparse bedroom.

"How are you feeling honey? Are you gonna be ok? You've been out for about two hours."

"Whe-where am I?"

"Well this is my home and Im Aerith. I take care of Leon and anyone else that needs me for that matter."

"Leon? Squal Leonhart? This is his house?"

Aerith gave Cloud a caring smile. "Yes, dear. Would you like to see him?" Cloud looked petrified. "Well honey he's been pestering me all afternoon. I don't think I can keep him out much longer."

"He wants to see me?"

"Yes dear, he's been very worried. Which as I'm sure even you know is out of character for him."

"uh, yea…. Youre sure he's wanting to see me?"

"Well I don't remember him caring any other boys home after school today without even bothering to change out of his football uniform…. So yea I'd say its you." The healer smiled and with another gentle touch of Cloud's hand she left. Cloud closed his eyes and curled up under the blankets. Vaguely, as he drifted off, he thought the room smelled nice.

"Are you ok?" Cloud jerked up from his sleep. Squal Leonhart was sitting at Cloud's feet. Cloud managed amazingly to keep his stoic composure. "Er…Yea, thanks. ….Ya know for …everything."

"Well… everyone's down stairs wanting to play Yuffies new chair game if ya wanna come."

Clouds stomach fluttered.'… did Squal Leonhart just ask him to hang out with him and everyone? …yes yes he did.' "Yea that'd be ok."

Leon reached out a hand and helped pull Cloud up from his bed. "After you." He said holding open the door. Cloud stepped out of the bedroom into a long hallway of what was probably bedrooms. "Downstairs." Leon grunted, pointing at the staircase directly in front of them. As they walked down the stairs together Cloud kept wondering to himself if Leon was really walking that close to him or if he was just hoping.

"Ok here's how it works." Yuffie stated firmly. " An 'If blank blank blank' statement is called out and you have to do what the caller says like move left two seats. And if someone is in that seat ….Deal with it. OK! Lets go."

Cloud sat down in the chair closest to himself and sat quietly. The seats were all quickly filled: Leon, Roxas, Riku, Yuffie, Axel, Vincent, Zexion, Demyx.

"Move three chairs left if you have a crush." Cloud, Leon, Zexion, and Riku move.

"Move two chairs right if you have a unique sword." Leon move two chairs right and was now one Riku…I mean one chair away from Cloud. Tifa who was reading the questions, because Aerith and Cid had been too warry of participating in a Yuffie game, looked around at everyone. "Leon's not the only one with a sword.

"I have a keyBLADE." Riku remarked.

"Me too." Roxas chimed in. Tifa looked at Axel.

"Deffinatly not swords." He responded.

Zexion and Demyx both laughed when she turned to them. Finally she rounded on Cloud. "Well what do you have mister?" Cloud sank back into his seat under the woman's intense glare. "Blade, sorry."

"Well theres not really a difference is there?!"

"Tifa?" Yuffie said politely, "NEXT QUESTION!"

With a sigh the flustered woman continued on. "Ah… ok I get it. ' If you have a unique blade move one seat right." One chair left if your admittedly gay." Cloud, Riku, Roxas, Axel, Zexion, and Demyx all move. But to Clouds great dismay Leon stays stubbornly put. "Two chairs right if your bi." Leon stands up and walks slowly but steadily over to Clouds chair. He looks the shocked blond in his deep blue eyes. Picks him up and sets him down in his lap as he sits in the chair. "Thought itd be more comfortable than me sitting on you. Im a bit bigger." There is an awkward silence as everyone tries not to notice that Cloud sitting on Leon's lap is a bit different than Riku stuck sitting on Yuffies. As it approaches the point where someone will have to say something theres an ominously firm knock at the door.

It'll get better I promise guys. Its been a long time since ive been able to write or post anything and im really sorry about that. Im dead tired right now so Im giving a cliff hanger but ill be back within the next three days I promise.  Remember criticism is helpful!


	3. When the jock jerk attacks revised

It's seven thirty pm as Axel pulled open the front door. Before the redhead could even manage a 'hello' the rain soaked visitor stepped over the threshold and reached to shut the door. Unfortunately for him Axel was holding it tight in preparation of shoving the silver haired teen (a really fucking scary looking teen at this point) out the door at moment's notice. Glancing around the room, as much as possible through the six inch gap that the pyro was allowing, Sepheroth broke the silence. "I came to talk with Cloud."

"No." Leon growled pushing the terrified blond behind his back. Silence ensued for a mere minute until a somewhat braver Cloud stepped out from behind Leon and moved slowly towards the door. With an evil (but more importantly, extremely annoying to Leon) smirk, Sepheroth followed the blond into the yard. Placing his hand on the small of Clouds back he attempted to push the boy towards his shiny new car in the drive way.

"No." Cloud meant to be firm but heard the waver in his voice. Sepheroth heard it, too. The senior smiled and turned back to his 'friend'. "Come on. Don't you want to ride in the Corvette?" he stroked gently. Gesturing towards the poor silver vehicle that cruel fate had stuck with him.

Just so were clear we are now feeling pity for Cloud and the Silver Corvette. ...The car...NOT SEPHEROTH. Got it memorized? Good.

"No, I don't. I want you to leave and never speak to me again." Before Cloud could react the back of Sepheroth's hand connected with his face; knocking him backward.

"No!" he yelled in retaliation as he stood up once more. Again his reply was met with a blow, this time to the stomach, then the face, then the side of his ribs. Cloud began to lose track of his beatings. Suddenly it stopped. Over his heavy breaths Cloud could hear high pitched shouts; through blurred vision he recognizes Yuffie standing between Sepheroth and himself. He also sees the other mans temper peaking once more. As Sepheroth raises his had to strike the small girl Cloud pushes her aside and hits him first. "Stay away from me. Stay away from my friends.", Cloud was panting and struggling to remain standing. Yet, when Yuffie tried to help him stand straight he only pushed her off. "You've beaten me enough." Cloud found some small store of energy and stood up straight his voice getting stronger. "If you ever try your bull shit again you'll have to fight me. Even if you beat the shit out of me at least I'll be fighting back. Again Sepheroth went to swipe the teen aside before he could strike again there was a loud crash from inside the house that sounded very much like an enraged lion crashing through a couch and a few people. Leon came barreling out of the house straight at Sepheroth. The football player flung himself at his opponent and the two went tumbling into the mud. At first Leon was on top slamming the hell out of the bastard, then Seph had the upper hand pushing to his feet and kicking the lion while he was down. Leon went into a football tackle, arms around Seph's waist taking him down into the mud and grass again. Then they were both back on their feet, circling. Before they could make another move there was a staff between them. Cid looked at both the boys and began quietly, "Look what you've done to my lawn." Seph opened his mouth to say something and was quickly rapped on the head and Cid continued. "My lawn is torn up. I work so hard to keep the engine oil off of this lawn, to keep the vermin out, and to generally keep it beautiful for Aerith to look at when she's in the kitchen staring out the windows. YOU FRIGGIN RUINED MY LAWN! GET OVER YOUR CRAP AND GET OFF MY GRASS!" He walked back inside rapping both the boys on the head quickly before he left. Leon stared at the man who had been beating the shit out of his…his…well whatever Cloud was to him. Before Sephiroth could make a move Leon had pulled a combat knife from who the hell knows where and had it at the dumbass' neck. His wet brown hair plastered to his face, white shirt gripping at the rippling muscles in his back, chest, and abdomen; any human alive with sexuality at all would have expected him to look as sexy as hell... but he wasn't. He was terrifying. Even Cloud and Yuffie were frightened. There was a gash across his forehead on the left side and blood was running steadily. His silver eyes flashed in the lightning. What he said to Sepheroth is difficult to say. At first Cloud thought he only growled but as Cloud was later informed that growl was a tone of voice Leon reserved for people who truly managed to get down under his skin and snap the thin wire of control he maintained. ~ Yuffie hurriedly helped Cloud up and into the house. She wouldn't say a word, which caused. Cloud to feel he shouldn't either. Once inside Tifa fussed over Yuffie until Vincent scooped her up and took her aside and Aerith hurried Cloud back up to Leon's bedroom and began to tend to his wounds. At one point Leon walked back into the house still soaked and battered and bruised. He didn't say a word and no one spoke to him. He simply walked straight through the middle of the group and went up the steps. Aerith half heartedly trying to lighten the mood chastised Cloud saying, "Honestly, this is the second time I've had to heal you today young man." Eventually, one-by-one, everyone headed back to their rooms as silent and reserved as ever. Aerith apologized saying she didn't have the guest room made up just yet (It was actually still under construction.) but Cloud was welcome to sleep in Leon's room. "Where would Leon sleep then?" She looked at him with a sad but comforting smile and replied that Leon would most likely spend the night alone. "He really doesn't like to fight out of anger, dear. It takes a toll on him, I think."

"Oh." Was all Cloud could muster. He felt terrible. He had just met these people and already he was ruining there lives. He really didn't want to stay and keep burdening them, but when he stood to leave he nearly passed out. Aerith gently helped him up the stairs and into Leon's bed.

Glancing back before she shut the door Aerith couldn't help but thinking what a pitty it was that this had happened to such a sweet child. 


	4. The bedroom scene revised

"You've grown up a lot." Leon turned to see his adoptive father sitting at the end of the kitchen table.

"Thanks" he muttered as he continued to rinse the blood off his face.

"I guess thats your blood not his right?" Leon sighed as he turned off the water. He could see now this would be a long father son conversation. Normally he'd think of this as a great milestone but at the moment he just was not in the state to speak…with anyone.

"Yea, most of its mine from where Roxas hit me over the head with that stupid key he calls a blade. Stupid kid. He thought I was Sephiroth trying to come inside. But this down here" he pointed to the knee cap of his jeans. "This is asshole's and I'll never let Aerith wash it out. I want it cut out and framed for the world to see."

Cid chuckled, "A little over theatrical for you isnt it?"

"Normally. But I've seen the way this guy treats people. And, God, the way he looks at Cloud its like he wants to rape him and beat him until the edge of life but let him live just so he can do it again tomorrow."

Cid looked thoughtful and the kitchen falls quiet. Leon looked down, a little embarrassed. He never spoke that way to his father. Cid was one of the very very few people in the world that Leon would/could actually open up and just carry on a conversation with. The two sat for a long while caught up in their own thoughts.

"Well", Cid finally interjects "I think Im gonna go to bed."

"Wait." Leon calls. Cid stopped in the doorway. "Is he still here?"

"Yea, I think Aerith called his dad, or brother, or guardian person. I dunno some guy named Zach. Decent guy. Was ready to rip through a few million assholes when he heard what had happened. I told him you were handleing it though." Cid winked at his son. "Seemed to think that was rather amusing for some reason or another and left it at that."

"Hn." was Leon's only response he was already halfway up the steps and had only paused to wait for his father to finish.

"And Leon?"

The stoic turned to face his father again, this time a bit more impatiently.

"Be good to that kid he's had a hard life it sounds like."

Leon gave a rare smile, "Hasnt everyone in this house?"

Leon slipped into the room silently and quickly stripped down to his boxers. Stopping to think how just boxers might be inappropriate just now he padded across the dark room trying to find his dresser. "SSSsssssssss!" He knocked his toe into some god damn piece of furniture that was not going to survive the morning once he could see what it was. It turned out to be his dresser, so after rummaging through some drawers he slid a pair of cotton pants on Tifa had gotten him last Christmas in hopes of getting him to wear something other than underwear to bed...and to the bathroom in the middle of the night. Sitting on the edge of the bed he cupped the angels small face in his hand running his thumb over a large bruise across the poor angels flawless cheek. With a hiss of pain Cloud's eyes flew open. Leon's hand was gone faster than Cloud could process what was happening. "Im sorry." He said quietly. "I didnt mean to wake you I was looking at your bruise."

"Don't be sorry." Cloud said sleepily. "Its your bed. I'll go."

Leon pressed a firm hand against the angel's chest. "Go where? and how?"

"Home and I thought I'd walk." Cloud eyed the rough hand warily.

Leon followed his gaze and quickly jerked it back. "Sorry."

"Its fine."

"You dont have to leave. You can just stay here. I mean you really don't need to be walking around in your condition and I dont like the idea of you walking in the dark and Aerith already talked to Zach and stuff so ...I mean...you could just stay here."

As Cloud watched the schools star quarter back/stoic/"Major hunk hottie" he couldnt help but smile. Squal Leonhart stumbling over words, even more Squal Leonhart speaking words! None of his groupies would believe it. He wanted to reach out and touch him but he settled for a sleepy "It's ok. Ill stay." Cloud suddenly felt very aware of the fact that he was in Squal Leonharts bed and Squal Leonhart's butt just so happened to be right next to his hand. …. He moved his hand quickly. Leon smiled at Cloud suddenly feeling much more confident. Picking up his angel Leon moved him gently to the side of the bed closer to the wall. Cloud eyed the brunette suspiciously. "You were on my side of the bed."

Cloud chuckled, "Great you have a 'side'."

"Yea, got a problem with that?" Leon replied poking Cloud playfully in the side.

"No," He laughed, "not at all."

With a very protective, very strong, very capable Leon behind him Cloud fell asleep easily. And with a very soft, very beautiful, very amazing Cloud in front of him Leon drifted off quickly as well.


	5. The one where he says be mine revised

Cloud woke feeling uncomfortably warm, breathing heavily he tried to move his legs and regretted it. Pain shot up the boy's body, every muscle screamed out in protest. He let out a small groan and suddenly there was a hand on his face.

"What's wrong?" Leon said quickly. He had meant it to be comforting but with Cloud his words always came out just how he felt. Urgent, concerned, and very over protective.

Cloud jumped at the voice and immediately cried out again in pain. His body felt on fire and he had completely forgotten where he was or that Leon was there. ...wait Leon was there...he was in Leon's home, not just that he was in Leon's bed.

"Cloud", Leon tried to remain calm and sound calm, "Cloud," you have to answer me before I go wake up Aerith and go kill Him.

'Oh yea he had fought with Sepheroth...well Sepheroth had used him as a punching bag, and Leon had come to Yuffie and his rescue. Oh god, Leon had rescued him twice in one day.'

"Cloud." Leon's voice was low and almost threatening but not quite, "please answer me I'm...I'm worried." he pulled his arm a little tighter around Clouds waist and then released immediately realizing he had never ever been given permission to touch the boy, and who knows what all that bastard may have done to him.

Cloud let out an involuntary groan at being jerked so much. His muscles were so sore, but that was ok because he could swear he just had Leon's arm around his waist. "I'm fine." Cloud responded quietly, "just sore. That's all."

Leon took a proper breath for the first time in the past few minutes. He gave a rare smile staring into Clouds bright blue eyes; they even shined in the dark. Suddenly he realized that his hand was on the back of Cloud's head. 'How the hell did that happen?' Leon shook himself and came back down to reality." Its one thirty you should go back to sleep, ba...Cloud."

Cloud smiled mischievously, "You almost called me baby didn't you?"

Leon stared blankly back at him hoping to send the message of 'I am not even going to dignify that an answer.' In reality he was thinking, 'I just cant do anything right around this kid!'

Cloud laughed with relief laying back to look at the ceiling. "Good I thought this was going to be really awkward."

"What?" Leon grunted.

Cloud glanced back at him feeling nervous again. "I dunno. This. The inevitable wake up, excitement is over, where do we stand now thing."

Leon stared at him in silence for a minute and nineteen seconds. (Cloud counted) "Wanna play the question game?"

Cloud turned surprised "What?"

"Its a game where you ask questions. Iou said you felt awkward. if we knew more about each other maybe you'd feel less awkward."

Cloud gave a small smile, "Sure, why not….. You go first though."

Silence ensued. After about five minutes that felt like ten years, ten wonderful glorious years to Cloud Leon spoke.

"What's your favorite color?"

"Blue. Yours?"

"Never thought about it." he paused "I guess I like green a lot though."

"Favorite band?" Cloud continued.

"Too many to choose from."

"Tou che."

"When did you realize you were gay?" Leon asked quietly.

Cloud thought about it before deciding "At a football game." He left off the 'when I saw you for the first time our freshman year' part. "When did you know you were bi?" The blond retaliated.

Leon blushed and turned away slightly.

Cloud sat up on his elbow and tilted his head to the side in a futile attempt to see Leon's expression. He did manage to look extremely cute. "You don't have to answer if you don't want to." Cloud said understanding.

"No, I want to. It's just I'm not sure if I'm bi or not."

Clouds heart dropped and he recoiled from embarrassment.

Leon heart jumped and he reached out wrapping his hand around his angel's wrist so he couldn't slip away. "That's not what I meant; I'm sorry." he could almost hear Clouds heart pounding. "I meant I might not be straight at all."

"So just like straight up homosexual?"

Leon sighed a bit and turned to Cloud. "I meant I might just be CloudStrife-sexual."

Cloud couldn't help but grin as his heart pounded and the butterflies in his stomach went wild. Looking into Leons eyes his heart jumped again, they were beautiful, a strong, swirling mercury color. Not the damn stuff you get in thermometers; the breathtaking true silver mercury that was beautiful and deadly all at once. This was defiantly who Leon was, and Cloud loved it. He loved the tantalizing depth of it. How quickly Leon could turn from soft and passionate to deadly and protective. He wanted that, he wanted to be the one Leon could never be angry with. Leon sat up looking at Cloud. Slowly he leaned down and pressed a chaste kiss on the boy's lips. Staring down at his angel Leon stopped. Cloud wasn't His at all. He had never asked. Seeing the sinking expression on the other man's face Cloud tilted his head cutely. "What's wrong?"

Leon suddenly looked deeply into Clouds eyes making Cloud feel as if his soul was being exposed.

"Will you be mine?" clouds stomach jumped and he felt like he was going to burst with happiness at the sudden question. "Of course." He replied rather bravely.

"No, I mean it. I'll be jealous of anyone that glances your way. I would want to be with you all the time. Always there, always touching you", Leon's breath ran out a little too quickly at that last thought. He ran ran two fingers down Clouds arm and took a shuddering breath, "and always…" Leon trailed off breathless his stomach was twisted and his whole abdomen tingled. He felt shaky and weak. He stood and began to pace setting his hands up clasped behind his head. "I just want you to understand how ridiculously horrid I can be. I can be extremely possessive. I don't want someone to stand beside me and that's terrible. I want someone to be mine. Mine to hold, and protect, and obsess over and …. And lust over. He turned to see Cloud had been standing right behind him with his hands in his pockets thumbs sticking out looking absolutely adorable in his oversized shirt. "As for the standing beside you thing you won't have a choice. I'll be here whether you like it or not. You can just suck it up and get yourself over it. Suddenly Cloud wrapped his arms around the man's waist and looked up at Leon's paling, zoned out expression. "But the rest sounds good to me." He whispered burying his face into the strong chest cursing Yuffie for giving back the shirt.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Yuffie/Eriko: Rocks fall they all die. THE END.

Clouds muffled moan can be heard beneath the pile of rubble.

Leon bursts through the styrofoam rocks like the mighty hunk of lion/man he is and glares at Eriko/Yuffie.

And to his great surprise finds Yuffie unphased.

"Why, might I ask, did you bury us in styrofoam rubble?" Leon grunts trying to keep his cool.

"Because no one reviews my stories. Everyone adds me to their favorite author lists or favorite story lists and just doesnt care to tell me what they think. So I had decided to make them think I killed you until they would reviewed and then... YOU RUINED IT ALL! YOU JUST HAD TO BURST OUT OF THE ROCKS LOOKING ALL SEXY YOU COULDNT JUST STAY DOWN THEIR WITH CLOUD HAPPY TO JUST FUCK AWAY BUT NOOOOOOOOOOO!" Yuffie/Eriko stomps off and Leon gets a lovely gleam in his eye turning back to the rock pile where you could still hear soft moans from and very small vulnerable Cloud.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Eriko looks straight out at the readers, "I swear to the manga god above if one of you doesnt review soon Ill make the next one horriable. Maybe seph will come back and cloud will just reject leon and go off with seph to be beaten into all eternity. Would you like that? I think not! NOW GO! I WANT TO HEAR KEYS CLICKING!"


End file.
